I went to a BBQ for the 4th of July with a group of young adults from several churches in the area. I went home early and was in bed by 8:00pm - and completely missed the fireworks. The first words out of my mouth when I got home were:
"Paddlefoot," to the turtle, innocently swimming in her tank, "why do Christians have to be so weird! I'd MUCH rather hang out with my non-Christian friends. They're weird in a way that I actually like."
Okay, let's ignore the fact that I have an issues just based on the fact I'm talking out loud to my turtle in the first place. When I told my counselor this morning about this he laughed at me and said that he believes there are few therapists in this world who are lucky enough to be entertained so much by one of their patients. THANKS...I think??
This has been an issue for me in general. I want fellowship with other Christians but each time I get together with a Christian group I hate being there and it makes me want to run away from Christianity rather than towards it. I come away from these experiences thinking that if I am having a real problem with being uncomfortable with this situation - then I'm sure people who have no experience with the church at all must really think we're off our rockers.
Okay, what do I mean by weird?? From this BBQ alone there were 3 major incidents that made me wonder if I was the most sane person in the room:
1) Drunk in the Spirit Lady
I was sitting and talking to a lady about what she had done in the previous week.
Me: Did you have a good week?
Lady: Oh, it was wonderful! I was so drunk in the spirit the other night after a wonderful worship service! I wonder how I made it home safely!
Me: Wow - I guess it is a good thing you didn't get pulled over! That would have been interesting to explain to the cops. (Side note: as I told my counselor about this story this morning he busted up laughing at this point. Really, I'm not that funny)
Lady: Oh no - my church has taught me how to handle the cops. First you prophesy over the cop and witness to him. THEN he becomes a BELIEVER! He will be so excited that he'll go get his partner, you prophesy more and then the partner will ALSO become a believer. Jesus be glorified!
Me: Well, I suppose if that works then that's a good way to get out of a ticket!
(REALLY???? GET ME OUT OF HERE!!)
2) Man with a Grudge Against Pastor's Kids with Dead Fathers
I was playing ping pong with my friend minding my own business and a very large man decided that would be a good time to talk to me even though my back was toward him...
Man: Where do you go to church?
Me: New Life in Colorado Springs
Man: How long have you gone?
Me: Since January. I grew up in the church, took a break for a couple years, and now I'm back.
Man: (not in an unfriendly tone) Oh, so you were a church brat. I've always worked with teens in the church and young adults.
Me: Yeah, I was a church brat. My daddy was a pastor so I really was a brat. (smiled)
Man: What? Oh, I know you pastors kids! (he's suddenly angry) You tell me that your daddy is the pastor and so you have the right to tell me to do whatever. You know what I tell people like you? I PAY your daddy's salary! You can't tell me what to do! If you try - I'll stop paying your dad's salary. And THEN what, huh?
(Side note: if that guy or someone like him was paying my daddy's salary - that's nothing to brag about...we were dirt poor!)
Man: Is your dad still a pastor?
Me: No, my dad died a few years back.
Man: I'm really sorry to hear that.
Me: Thank you, it is what it is (my response when I don't want to talk about it)
Man: It isn't like that at all. You really need to learn how to get in touch with your feelings better and stop living in a fantasy world. Live in reality - it is tough.
Me: Yeah, it is tough.
My friend: So, do you want to keep score in the game?
Me Mouthing to her: THANK YOU!
Seriously?? Where do you get off getting mad at me simply because I'm a pastor's kid? And do you really think that makes me want to talk to you about my feelings regarding his death?
3) Singing Man With a Short Fuse
There was one guy, tall, handsome, muscular (good combo) that kept walking around making up praise songs over and above everyone else talking. "Praise the Holy Spirit because of this wonderful food"... Sing, sing, sing. He started playing (and singing as he went) ping pong with another one of the guys there. After awhile he walked away to help some people out with a few things. He came back 15 minutes later to see someone else had taken his place.
He immediately goes off - "Jesus would NEVER have stolen someone else's spot in line" and "I thought you guys were supposed to be Christians!"
I thought he was joking...apparently not...
Everyone tried to calm him down. I decided to use my off the cuff humor...
Me: The good news is that I hear that patience is a virtue!
Singing Man: That's not in the Bible!
Me: Well, I do know it is a Fruit of the Spirit...
Singing Man: Don't lie to me just to get me to calm down! Jesus is pissed off at you guys for lying and cutting in line!
Me: Right...
Singing Man: Now who wants to play me in ping pong??
We all walked away....
I'm told I have a knack for running in to the weird ones. That not all Christians are like this. I actually do believe that all Christians aren't like this. My family has its quirks - but I believe we weren't alienating with our behavior. I just can't figure out why everyone I run in to here is like that. I've been looking for fellowship - but as I said to Paddlefoot - it isn't worth it to me to be around people like that if that is what it means to be in Christian fellowship.
I have several examples of things like this - another blog post for another time - but I suppose this is a cautionary tale. We as Christians are supposed to be set apart from the world by our actions - but I don't think this is what Jesus was talking about. He wasn't talking about misplaced anger, thinking you can get away with anything just because of your "ability" to prophesy (let's admit it - you're making it up 99/100), or by acting like a nutcase while singing and arguing like a child.
I believe what sets us apart is our willingness to forgive, to live in such a way that we show love and kindness even when it isn't easy, and the fact we live for Someone greater than ourselves. If it means the rest of this nonsense - no thanks. I'm out!
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